The Bar Code Tattoo (#1)

By Suzanne Weyn

"Individuality vs. Conformity
Identity vs. Access
Freedom vs. Control
The bar code tattoo. Everybody's getting it. It will make your life easier, they say. It will hook you in. It will become your identity.
But what if you say no? What if you don't want to become a code? For Kayla, this one choice changes everything. She becomes an outcast in her high school. Dangerous things happen to her family. There's no option but to run...for her life."

This review is barely a review at all. The unthinkable has happened: I have given up on a book. Sure, there have been times when I've lost momentum and put a book down, intending to pick it back up again one day, but I don't purposely return it to the library with no plans to ever try again. What have you done to me, Suzanne Weyn? I have absolutely no desire to see this book ever again. It was so boring, tedious even. The main character irritated me; I can't even remember her name to be honest. The plot was boring, the pace was slow, the characters were flat. I don't know if I was able to read even half of this teeny 256 page book. I gave it a valiant effort, but The Bar Code Tattoo and I just weren't meant to be.

Turned, Loved, Betrayed, Destined, Desired

Novels 1-5 in The Vampire Journals Series
By Morgan Rice


"In TURNED (Book #1 of the Vampire Journals series), eighteen year old Caitlin Paine finds herself uprooted from her nice suburb and forced to attend a dangerous New York City high school when her Mom moves again. The one ray of light in her new surroundings is Jonah, a new classmate who takes an instant liking to her.

But before their romance can blossom, Caitlin suddenly finds herself changing. She is overcome by a superhuman strength, a sensitivity to light, a desire to feed--by feelings she does not understand. She seeks answers to what’s happening to her, and her cravings lead her to the wrong place at the wrong time. Her eyes are opened to a hidden world, right beneath her feet, thriving underground in New York City. She finds herself caught between two dangerous covens, right in the middle of a vampire war.

It is at this moment that Caitlin meets Caleb, a mysterious and powerful vampire who rescues her from the dark forces. He needs her to help lead him to the legendary lost artifact. And she needs him for answers, and for protection. Together, they will need to answer one crucial question: who was her real father?

But Caitlin finds herself caught between two men as something else arises between them: a forbidden love. A love between the races that will risk both of their lives, and will force them to decide whether to risk it all for each other..."

The plot continues... with seven sequential books.  If there was ever a series written for no other reason than to make money, this is it.  I keep reading them, HOPING that things will get better, but I really don't think I can keep going.

 

First off, let's discuss the writing: It is horrendous.  If you're going to write a book... No, I'll even forgive the author... if you're going to PUBLISH a book, for the love of God, PLEASE PROOF READ IT!  If you're going to write a book, gift yourself a thesaurus. The writing is so frustrating.  It is redundant and stale and cheesy.  I find myself mentally rewriting it. 

However, even that is impossible, since the characters are under-developed and, frankly, dim witted. I don't think there is a single character, and there are a great many, that I even like.  Maybe that's the problem; there are too many people in this book. Rice is name dropping like you can't believe.  Between cities and countries spanning the globe, at least three villains at a time, a whole island of identifiable vampires, she's dragging in historical figures like Marie Antoinette and Napoleon. 

The books are harried and lack attention to detail. It's like watching a three year old play: one minute she's wrapped up in dolls, the next, she's watching Sesame Street, and before they even have time to announce the number of the day, she's all caught up with sidewalk chalk. There is absolutely no reasonable amount of time for the characters to be so wrapped up in each other. They spend two minutes together and suddenly they are best friends, worst enemies or soul mates.

The story is a mishmash of events and people and motivations.  I think the underlying journey for Caitlin to find her father is going to end up the ultimate point, but from a few reviews that I've read which contained spoilers, I honestly think that if I finish this series, I will roll my eyes and laugh out loud over the ridiculousness of it. Seriously, It's worse than the House of Night series, and I have definite issues with that one.

I really can't think of one redeeming quality of this series.  The reason I keep picking them up is because I have an OCD compulsion to finish what I start. I think The Vampire Journals series will lead to my imminent institutionalization, because I just don't think I can read one more sentence!

Falling For Romeo

by Jennifer Laurens

This book was something I might have liked when I was in Jr. High. Didn't really do it for me at this point in my life.

My biggest complaint about this book is that Laurens was obviously trying to develop the story with family conflict and teenage pressure, but as soon as the literal last curtain fell and the insecure lead actress is validated by her prince, everything else just disappears. There is no conflict resolution at all.

The writing was not great and the tone was extremely juvenile. A very fast and uninteresting read.

What's He Really Thinking?

How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life
by Paula Rinehart

What's He Really Thinking? is a "field guide" into the minds of men. The book offers advice on understanding men by understanding yourself and the differences between men and women. The book delves into the relationships between men and women and the elements that contribute to healthy interaction and better communication.

Initially, when reading through a sample chapter on the Thomas Nelson Publishing site, I thought this book showed real promise. Rinehart's writing was not over complicated and it appeared to be the beginning of a wonderfully insightful guide into the male psyche. That being said, I was disappointed with this book. It was only 160 pages, but less than halfway through I found I was looking forward to the end.

The title of this book is promising, but somewhat misleading. Rinehart has some great ideas about what women should be doing, but never actually gets down to HOW to do these things. I felt that the juxtaposition of her professional insight, scientific explanations, and religion did not work well. The flow of the book began to dissipate shortly after the first chapter and the organization of the book seemed jumbled, perhaps because the author kept throwing in scripture and lessons on relationships with God. Also, I thought the way she discussed sex and intimacy was a little tacky and very unorganized. This book reminded me a lot of something from Laura Schlessinger, but a very poor imitation.

What's He Really Thinking? is lacking, but not completely deficient. There were some excellent personal accounts and points that made me sit up a little straighter in my chair, jabbing me in the stomach, saying "You knew that all along and now there it is in black and white." One quote in particular struck me like a slap in the face:

"If we hitch our sense of feeling good onto the coattails of someone else- especially a man- then, generally speaking, we'll feel anything but good. The weight of carrying someone else's emotional life can pull any relationship down."

My overall impression: Not necessarily a waste of time, but a second time through would be.

Aurelia

by Anne Osterlund

Mystery, Danger, Romance. This book had the potential to be really good, but, alas, it was a pretty big waste of my time.

Aurelia was not well written, the charaters were flat and the plot was dull. The romance was not developed and I didn't really relate to or even like the heroine, Aurelia. There was also a lack of that essential ingredient, that pivotal moment and the change that each character must face. Her family, the villains of the story (sorry to spoil it, but you really don't want to read this book anyway) start and end as selfish, spoiled and mean hearted. The discovery that Aurelia's half-sister is trying to kill her incites no more than an eye twitch in her father and Aurelia never even confronts her. There is no punishment for the antagonists and no real reward for the protagonists. It was a very tedius read for the YF section.

I suppose this could be categorized as a wholesome story, but boring and really a waste of valuable reading time.

I Didn't Plan to be a Witch: and Other Surprises of a Joyful Mother

by Linda Eyre

I happened upon this title and thought it sounded like a fun and, most likely, insightful, read. The beginning of the book lived up to that somewhat, introducing lively anecdotes featuring the mischievous exploits of the author's nine children. By the middle of the book, however, I found myself getting mad and only made it through the rest of the book by sheer desire to finish what I had started, rolling my eyes all the way.
Having nine children does not automatically make someone eligible to dish out advice like some sort of expert. The author, indisputably, has the experience under her belt, but not necessarily the perspective I wanted to read about. I was greatly annoyed as the mention of her second home in Washington D.C. and her summer cabin in Oregon became regular side notes in every chapter. That, coupled with the humanitarian trips her family took to Romania and Japan, and the years they lived in England struck me as boastful; there are ways she could have related experiences without flaunting her checkbook. This book in itself appeared to be a marketing tool for her other five or six books which, sickeningly enough, are all about child rearing techniques, which makes me want to shout my initial statements, reiterating the thought that perhaps someone with nine kids is not qualified to teach others about raising children simply because they have a large family. The breaking point was the chapter about weight and her insistence that losing ten pounds in a year was a great struggle and bane and that her metabolism was obviously extremely slow. Want to know what I think about that lady? *&%$)*&^%$#@!!

I REALLY don't ever want to read anything by Linda Eyre again. Even her writing bothered me. The number of exclamation points in this book was staggering. The writing itself was redundant and her style added to my impression that she is no expert or professional. She bugs me. The book has nothing inappropriate in it except several instances of babies falling on their heads due to this moron having more kids than she can handle.