What's He Really Thinking?

How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life
by Paula Rinehart

What's He Really Thinking? is a "field guide" into the minds of men. The book offers advice on understanding men by understanding yourself and the differences between men and women. The book delves into the relationships between men and women and the elements that contribute to healthy interaction and better communication.

Initially, when reading through a sample chapter on the Thomas Nelson Publishing site, I thought this book showed real promise. Rinehart's writing was not over complicated and it appeared to be the beginning of a wonderfully insightful guide into the male psyche. That being said, I was disappointed with this book. It was only 160 pages, but less than halfway through I found I was looking forward to the end.

The title of this book is promising, but somewhat misleading. Rinehart has some great ideas about what women should be doing, but never actually gets down to HOW to do these things. I felt that the juxtaposition of her professional insight, scientific explanations, and religion did not work well. The flow of the book began to dissipate shortly after the first chapter and the organization of the book seemed jumbled, perhaps because the author kept throwing in scripture and lessons on relationships with God. Also, I thought the way she discussed sex and intimacy was a little tacky and very unorganized. This book reminded me a lot of something from Laura Schlessinger, but a very poor imitation.

What's He Really Thinking? is lacking, but not completely deficient. There were some excellent personal accounts and points that made me sit up a little straighter in my chair, jabbing me in the stomach, saying "You knew that all along and now there it is in black and white." One quote in particular struck me like a slap in the face:

"If we hitch our sense of feeling good onto the coattails of someone else- especially a man- then, generally speaking, we'll feel anything but good. The weight of carrying someone else's emotional life can pull any relationship down."

My overall impression: Not necessarily a waste of time, but a second time through would be.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

I could write a book about this book. It personifies so many values and ideals that our society has given up on, or even worse, fights against. There were many wonderful things that came from the women's liberation movement, but many valuable things were lost and overlooked in the process. The fact is, men and women are vastly different and there are things that women are inherently good at that men are not and vise versa.
The book is comprised of excerpts of letters and phone calls from Dr. Laura's listeners. It was heartening to see what men had written concerning the way they are treated by their wives. Dr. Laura, along with several listeners, makes the point that men are very simple; their needs are simple. Basically, if you love a man, respect him and feed him, he'll treat you like a queen. Most of the chapters go into great detail about these needs and how, by giving men their basic desires, a woman's life becomes so much more fulfilled.
Many women would fight against these ideas, as I did a little bit at first. It really said a lot about the things that society has tried to grind into us, seeing as I was not brought up in a feminist household. I think the key here is that it has become acceptable to be selfish in our relationships. Women have many tools to manipulate men, to gain power over them, and many times, they do. They may think that having the upper hand makes them happy, but what of their husbands? Are we really so blind and self-centered to think that we can obtain true happiness when the person we love is miserable?
The focus in this book was caring for HUSBANDS. This doesn't mean that wives should be in the background or that a woman's needs are less important than a man's, only simpler. In my opinion, the indisputable fact is that a man's divine role is to care for his family by providing for them monetarily and supporting his wife in her divine role, which is to raise and nurture children and support her husband and his needs. Both parties should show their love and commitment by honestly communicating and providing their significant other with an equal partner, having a constant consideration for the other's thoughts, emotions and role within the family. Women are complicated, having an excess of analytical thought and emotion, while men have basic necessities.
One of the most poignant things I learned was the importance of respecting my husband. I didn't realize that by trying to control every situation and make the "right" decisions, I was depriving my husband of his manhood and hindering his growth. How do we expect our men to be men and take care of us if we never allow them to make mistakes?
Overall, I think that every woman should read this book. If we could get back to those values that our grandmother's practiced so diligently, we would have such a better world to raise our children in. I have implemented many of these changes in my life and marriage. I have struggled to push selfishness away from me, to ignore those differences in my husband that I don't necessarily appreciate or understand, and show him my unconditional love and respect. It has changed my life and saved my marriage. It will take a lot more work and many more changes to fully embrace the principles that I have relearned in this book, but I know that it will make me happy with myself, a more loving mother and a more diligent wife.